


When Shiro's Away, Have It Keith's Way

by battoff



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, This was a mistake tbh, based off that one scene from parks and rec, it's a joke don't actually read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battoff/pseuds/battoff
Summary: Reasons why Keith shouldn't be the leader of Voltron: Exhibit A.





	When Shiro's Away, Have It Keith's Way

“Keith? Can you come over here?” And Keith, bless his soul, went running to Shiro. “I'm going out on a quick errand run. Now, I was thinking, this would be the perfect time to test your leadership skills so I'm putting you in charge while I'm gone.” Shiro handed Keith a small camcorder reminiscent of 2008. “Use that to record your status as well as everyone else's so I can see your effectiveness.”

Keith nodded, his eyes filled with determination. “I won't let you down.” 

 

...

 

Keith walked into the kitchen where everyone seemed to be gathered, quiet conversations stopping as the sound of broken machinery filled the room. The coffee maker, pot and all, was in a shattered heap on the main table. Keith's eyes swept over the small crowd. “Who broke it?” Some of them shifted in their seats, obviously uncomfortable. “I'm not mad. I just want to know.”

No one spoke for a good five minutes. Then, as if his heart couldn't take the stressful silence, Matt stood up. “I did. I broke it—”

“No,” Keith said, immediately shutting him down. “No, you didn't. Lance?”

Said paladin crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. “Don't look at me. Look at Coran.”

Coran, who had, up until then, been styling his mustache, gasped at the betrayal. “What? I didn't break it.”

“Huh. That's weird.” Lance leaned into Coran’s personal space, perhaps hoping the uncomfortable proximity would coax a confession out of him. “How did you even know it was broken?”

The man sputtered, confused, baffled. Lance was being ridiculous. “Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.”

Lance pursed his lips. “Suspicious.”

“No,” Coran all but shouted. “It's not.”

Hunk put himself between the two of them. “I-If it matters. Probably not,” his eyes moved to the floor, “but Pidge was the last one to use it.”

She looked up from biting at her nail beds. “Hunk, I don't even drink that crap.”

Hunk’s eyebrows furrowed the way they do whenever he has suspicions. “Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?”

“I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles.” As if for emphasis, she pulled out one of the aforementioned stirrers from her pocket to pick at her fingertips. “Everybody knows that Hunk.”

Matt’s face scrunched up. Partially in concern for his sister but also in slight queasiness at the sight. “Okay, okay. Let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Keith.”

“No!” Keith glared at everyone. “Who broke it?”

The room fell silent once more before Coran walked up to him. It was quicker that time, the time it took for someone to speak. “Keith?” Even though he whispered, it almost sounded like he was shouting in the silent kitchen. “Allura has been _awfully_ quiet—”

“Really?” Allura's chair screeched unforgivingly against the floor as her face twisted up in an affronted expression. But Coran wasn't having any of it.

“Oh, yeah. Really.”

And that had to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because the room simply descended into chaos. Everyone was too distracted to watch Keith slip outside into the hallway. He turned the camcorder on himself. “ _I_ broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.” A loud crash sounded from the kitchen followed by angry howling that could be comparable only to a banshee. “I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.” Keith briefly looked back into the room from the doorway. When he turned back to face the camcorder, his mouth had a slight crooked upward tilt to it. “Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.” 

 

...

 

“Allura, if something happens to me—”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly sorry for anyone who read this expecting actual content. This was just me practicing (albeit badly) my writing for the Voltron fandom. Also, lowkey venting about how Allura would be a better leader. No offense to Keith but he has the social skills of a potato.


End file.
